Wednesday, November 8 @9:52 PM
Hitting the sheets while considering the impossibility on resuming reality. For real to meet my own needs (wants) and play juggle for what i seek at my own pace. WITH the right mind. At this point in time. I told myself i will do well. As much as I want to be a part of the play. the winning play. Trying hard to brace purposeful walls to support sudden breakdowns.
Who the hell will care abt what you have done in preparation. Who the hell will care how much you cherish every moment you step in. Despite the fact that. you stepped out. Jumped off track. And got hit by the coming train from the opposite direction. as you try hard to win the undesirable war.
I know how to differ right and wrong. In life, nothing is perfect. But if i have to embrace myself with all that i have at this moment right now. I dont wanna trip what i tripped. I dont want to fall like how i fell broken before.
I hate how the walls around me stand in hope that it will crumble down one day. I hate how i let my pride stand so tall. yet it brings me down to my knees. I hate how i try to restrict myself as much as i want to embrace it. I hate how i seem as though i cant be bothered but inside i know that i really give-a-damn. I hate all the reasons that i try so hard. work so hard but i dont reap what i sow.
The unspoken truth. Slapped me right across my face. Those last words you said. repeated in my mind. Somehow, i rather you not say it. but this time round, i will take my chances and prove you wrong.
Pull me. Push me. I'm not your play. Watch me. and you will see.