Tuesday, April 3 @1:38 PM
Okay people. Here I’m blogging again.
The past few days weren’t an extreme good start. I was feeling extremely emo. Until the emo-ness had totally taken over my brain and break me down. Super emo I tell you. Super. Best part was there was nothing I could do to feel better.
Things that I tried to make me feel better (not in any sequence)
- Going for foot reflex Why? Because I couldn’t do a full body massage since my tattoo is peeling. (It was relaxing but dint help much but give me more pain)
- Retail Therapy Why? Because I wanted to. Duh! (Dint really work because everywhere reminds me of you)
- Watching more TV drama. Why? Because drama = More emo and seeing someone else emo makes you feel a little better about yourself which is relatively true. (Work for awhile until I become a TV addict)
- Watch more DVDs. (Means buy more DVDs = more Malaysia trips)
- Reading the book Chloe passed to me. Why? Because she feels that I need this more than her. Why? Because I haven’t been this depress and I needa get out of it. Anyway, the book did help for awhile before I fall back into depression. (Thanks to you who keep on haunting me. But nah not your fault.)
- Putting another tattoo (I know people. Its not on impulse because I really wanted it) Why? Maybe it is to take away my inner pain by inflicting external pain. (but my poor little pretty “Denise” is peeling now. LOL) Why Denise? Because she wanted a mole so my tattoo will look like her. Right?
- Watching “My name is Earl” Why? Because it tells you about a kind of guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks. Every time something good happened, something bad is always waiting around the corner. (Makes me understand why I’m so depressed now eh?)
- Watching Hanazakarino Kimitachihe. Why? Because I got nothing better to do and apparently Joreen influence me to watch it and always say she will lend me but never did.
- Drinking. and I realized it dint literally work. Why? Because it’s a downer. (Depressed person drinking = more depressing issues. Not helping but running away)
- Pondering about Karma Like how Earl did in My name is Earl. Why? Because I love his definition of it. “Do good things and good things happen? Do bad things and bad things happen?” (relatively true)
- Lazing in bed all day thinking about the greatest mistake I did in life. Why? because that’s the cause of my depression and I know I got to brace up. But I can never get out of it. Why? Because I cant stand up. Yet.
- Jogging my memory about this particular quote that cuzzie pointed out to me the other day.
“I LOST my grip on the monkey bars while swinging from one bar to the next. I FOUND that, to be successful, I had to let go of one rung before latching on to the next.
Reason being: I’ve ruined several relationships by failing to let go of the old before bringing in the new. Being suspended with nothing to hold on is a scary feeling.”
Why? I guess it explains it all.
okay rushing out. ciaos